How many times have you messed up on a New Year’s resolution or new habit that you wanted to form? Everybody has been there. You start out with the greatest of intentions but then inevitably slip up. How you deal with your mistake at that moment of vulnerability will eventually dictate how successful you are at building your habit.

When you do mess up, do you think to yourself that you fell off the wagon? If so, you probably are looking at the situation as an all or nothing. If you’re not 100% perfect, then your effort is not good enough. The problem is, all or nothing thinking typically leads to failure. It becomes an excuse for quitting a diet, stopping a writing habit, or whatever it is that you want to do.

What if I told you there is no wagon? There’s only life, which goes on in a continual stream and is made up of individual choices. One choice leads to another, leads to another, and all of these choices make up your life.

All or nothing thinking shows up for me the most in my diet. I feel the need to be 100% good, eating only approved foods, in the approved amounts, at the approved times, etc. Anything else is failure and my entire effort is a failure. That’s what I mean by “the wagon.”

The problem with looking at your diet, or any goal/habit, as all-or-nothing is that you inevitably mess up. And when you do, it’s way too easy to say, “Oh well, I just fell off the wagon. What’s the point now? Let me eat everything in sight to get it out of my system, then tomorrow I’ll start over again.”

Only what happens? At least for me, one slip makes it even easier the next day to say, “I was so bad yesterday, what’s the point? This whole week is ruined. I’ll start next week.” And so there I go eating whatever junk I want, blowing my diet, and not reaching my goals.

There. Is. No. Wagon.

Please stop thinking of your new habit, your goal, or whatever you want to build as being on the wagon. Think of it as a continuous stream of choices that you need to make. If you make one wrong choice, there is no need to allow the next choice to be a bad one as well. Each choice, each action, stands on its own. The more good choices you make, the more progress you will see.

Today I’m living my life as if there is no wagon. If I mess up, I tell myself that the next choice I make is another chance to do the right thing. I can make more good choices than bad, so I will make progress.

Join me.

#productivity

2020 is going to be my year of Action. However, I need to make sure that I am doing the correct actions to move myself forward. If I don’t take the time to reflect on what it is that I truly need to do, I tend to do whatever is easiest in the moment. Without making a plan, I don’t stop to make an appropriate choice, one that will move the needle toward success.

Achieving my goals is not about actions or choices. Actions ARE Choices. Good choices lead to good actions. String enough of those together and you will achieve success.

#productivity

When it comes to productivity books and podcasts: What is the difference between Learning and Changing?

I am constantly reading books about productivity, leadership, and time management. I have been stuck in a learning cycle for several years now. What I have not been doing is changing.

There is a world of difference between learning about productivity and doing productivity. Learning is finding out what you should do. It’s theory. If you don’t apply the theory, you might as well be reading a fantasy book.

Changing your personal productivity level means Doing. It means taking Action. It means doing, doing, and doing until the ideas you’ve learned about become your new routine.

Learn. Do. Change. Become a Better Person. The only way this cycle can happen is to take Action.

2020 will be my year of Action.

One of my favorite fitness gurus, Dr. Sara Solomon, is a jump rope aficionado. Her rope tutorials are inspirational and make jumping look so easy and effortless. (Check out her moves: https://youtu.be/a3U_4wwM4os )

I bought one of her ropes a couple of years ago and gave it a whirl.

Guess what?

Jumping rope is HARD. It takes timing, coordination, and a lot of energy. I tried it a couple of times and then hung it up, literally.

A couple of weeks ago, I got tired of that pink rope mocking me from its peg on the gym wall. I vowed to finally learn how to use it properly.

Let’s just say, I’m still a work in progress.

My current record is 30 consecutive jumps without blowing it. My average jump count is stuck at around 8-10. It’s so frustrating. But guess what? The little pink rope does its job. Even though I haven’t mastered it, I’m still getting a great workout every time I practice.

Although I started out with a simple goal to learn how to jump, I’ve discovered a secondary benefit that’s just as important. See, it would be really easy to hang that rope back up and stop trying. I’d have less frustration, fewer bruises, and no shin splints. I exercise alone in a home gym, so who would know if I quit?

I would know, that’s who. I set a personal goal and I intend to see it through. What will success look like? I think 100 consecutive jumps would constitute a win in my book.

I’m learning that keeping my word is important, even if it’s only to myself. Goals are promises or agreements we make with ourselves. We should honor them with as much intention as promises made to someone else.

Most of the time, if we don’t follow through with private commitments, nobody else knows. But we know. We feel the sense of failure, no matter how small the issue.

2019 has been my year to Finish. I’m learning how to follow through and finish projects. So tomorrow morning, I’ll be back at it, spinning my pink Sara Solomon rope and hopping around the basement. When I get to 100, I’ll let you know.

What is a small goal you’re working on?

verb (used with object), hum·bled, hum·bling.

to lower in condition, importance, or dignity; abase.to destroy the independence, power, or will of.to make meek:to humble one’s heart. Dictionary.com

I have been struggling to learn how to jump rope. No, I didn’t have a deprived childhood. I’m trying to learn how to skip rope like a boxer.

Humbled by a pink rope.

Monica

For several years, I worked for a manager I’ll call “Gus.” On the surface, Gus was the quintessential nice guy. He seemed to genuinely care about his subordinates. In cases of illness or deaths in the family, Gus was always the first to call. He frequently brought in goodies to share with the office, and he cooked a mean pot of spaghetti.

Gus also had a dark side. He could catalogue the bad habits and eccentricities of each of his three dozen subordinates with unerring accuracy. Gus managed our whole department, which included my team and two others. Every day brought a litany of negatives for him to focus on: bad directives from our headquarters, lack of respect from his superiors, lack of motivation among our rank-and-file employees. The glass was always half-empty and its contents were flat and stale.

Gus wasn’t content just to carp about his employees or supervisors. He was an equal-opportunity critic – Gus was particularly fond of criticizing his own shortcomings. Sadly, he seemed to love to declare to the world just how inept he was. Almost every day, he would denigrate himself in front of anybody who would listen. He couched these conversations as attempts to be honest and self-aware.  He seemed to honestly feel insufficient to meet any obstacle. Most days he seemed almost physically incapable of making a decision. He began to take every issue, even minor ones, upstairs to the executive manager. Eventually, Gus totally lost the respect of everybody around him. He continued to do his job, but with a noticeable lack of prestige and diminished effectiveness.

Gus’ insecurities, which he voiced at every turn, magnified and multiplied until he was a walking ball of psychic pain. The maddening part for everyone else? He never used his alleged self-awareness to make any changes.

Peter Drucker once said:  “A man should never be appointed into a managerial position if his vision focuses on people’s weaknesses rather than on their strengths.”

I think Mr. Drucker nailed Gus’ problem.

Gus’ biggest mistake? He picked on himself until he lost all sense of value and self-worth. He didn’t implement changes to correct his own flaws, even though he clearly recognized them. Instead, his personal introspection became a swirling spiral of negativity that swallowed up his career.

What I’ve learned from Gus:

• Focusing exclusively on anybody’s weaknesses, your own included, is a recipe for failure.
• Constantly looking for and pointing out flaws generates a vortex of criticism and pessimism.
• Criticizing yourself too much is dangerous. You can make your own situation worse when you constantly focus on your weak spots.
• You have to give everybody, even yourself, credit for having good qualities!

Gloomy Gus retired a few years ago. In a twist of fate, I inherited his position in the organization. I’m trying to learn from my predecessor’s mistakes.

I am concentrating on finding the strengths in each team member, no matter how buried they may be under flaws and foibles. Misconduct – that’s different and can’t be ignored. However, the fact that our team is made up of imperfect humans is just part of life.  I try to deliberately point out the positive aspects of every situation. I also try to give myself credit for my own good qualities even as I attempt to improve in areas where I know I am weak.

I don’t want to be known as a Gloomy Gus. I want to be recognized for building a positive, encouraging, confident atmosphere in our office. One day, one situation, one choice at a time – that’s the way I’ll get it done.

—Monica

As I type this, I can see the first rain bands from Tropical Storm Bill off in the distance. I’m in Texas. We’ve been hammered with copious amounts of rain already this year. In fact, 2015 will probably go down in the record books as one of the rainiest years in Texas history. Traffic is going to be a nightmare again this afternoon due to rain, flooding, and road closures.

Thanks to Waze, a GPS application on my iPhone, I know I’ll get home slightly faster than I would if I muddled my way through traffic on my own. If you’ve never used Waze, it’s really quite amazing. I’ve been a Waze user for over 3 years and it’s the only application on my phone that I’ll never willingly delete.

On a normal day, my commute to work takes an hour each way. On a rainy day, you can add another fifteen minutes to that easily. A few years ago the drive took significantly less time, but that was before every major freeway between my home and office was under construction. All the road work has turned my commute from a 35-minute nuisance to a 1+ hour disaster. Using the word “disaster” may sound dramatic, but there’s really no other word to describe it some days.

Enter Waze, my savior. The Waze app gets me around some of the congestion by finding new and sometimes inventive ways to get where I’m going. At its heart, Waze is a GPS application, but I think of it as GPS on steroids. It’s sort of like Google maps meets Twitter. (In fact, Google recently bought Waze, but that’s another story.)

Here’s my layman’s version of how Waze works:

Waze analyses the speed data from every user with the Waze application activated on their phone. With constant real-time data entering the system, Waze users get the benefit of knowing approximately how much time it will take to drive any particular route. The social media aspect of Waze comes from its millions of users, who actively report accidents, road hazards, and other incidents as they encounter them. Those updates are broadcast to all Waze users in the area, who receive real-time notifications about road conditions.

In a large metropolitan area, it’s critical to be forewarned about accidents, road closures, and other driving conditions before you leave the house. The local radio and TV stations try to keep up with traffic conditions, but their information is dated before it ever hits the airwaves.

Imagine – what would happen if a major accident happened on your route home just as you walked out your office door? The thought gives me cold chills. Now, what if Waze not only gave you a heads up, but also calculated an alternate route to your destination that would save you 20 minutes? What a relief! That sort of thing happens to me at least once a week. I honestly can’t tell you how much time Waze has saved me over the years. –  several days for sure, or maybe even weeks.

I hope you’ll look at Waze and see if it works for you. It’s just one of the tips, tricks, and tools that help me to be more productive and realize my Prolific Intentions. Maybe they can help you accomplish your Prolific Intentions as well.

–Monica

P.S. – Don’t you love my pup’s raincoat? And for the record, I have no affiliation with Waze. I’m just a satisfied user.